The Conduit delayed: bad news for The Wii?

Poor old Wii. I still maintain that playing a good game on the Wii is just about the most enjoyable gaming experience you can have, but it’s not an easy thing to do. Given the scarcity of good titles and glut of shovelware, the average Wii sits unattended for lengthy spells waiting for the next arrival of a rarer-than-Hero-dolls Triple A title.

Which is why it probably didn’t need the announcement that the long awaited Wii FPS The Conduit has been delayed due to ‘localisation issues’. It’s only a short delay, moving the game from June 26th back to July 10th, and it goes a little way towards excusing the usually ominous rarity of review samples, but still, it’s a blow to the Wii.

Following an E3 at which Micrsoft and Sony both announced exciting new technology and games, the Wii at present can muster in it’s defence the prospect of four new Mario games, a faint rumour of a new Zelda title and a £15 add-on gadget that simply makes the Wiimote as responsive as most people hoped it would be back when they shelled out £170 for the console in the first place.

Really, with the future looking so unoriginal, the Wii needed The Conduit ASAP to keep people interested.

Ok, so if there are no further delays, it’s a matter of three weeks. But it’s three weeks that will see the release of Fight Night Round 4, Call of Juarez: Bound in Blood, Ghostbusters and Overlord II on other platforms. Ok, its not like the other consoles are getting new Halo or Metal Gear Solid games, but it’s still a list of highly anticipated titles, and to compete the Wii needed to offer more than just re-issues of old Donkey Kong and Resident Evil games (really, I love Resident Evil games, but I’ve got them all on Wii compatible Gamecube discs, am I really going to pay for them again just for added Wii-waggling?).

To be fair, its only a three week delay, but it’s three weeks at the end of dry spell that goes back several months. I’m sure The Conduit will be great when it finally gets here, but it’s a pattern that repeats itself far too often, and when a Wii lies unused during the huge gulfs between good games, it’s hard not to wonder if gamers eyes will start to wander.

What's in a game?

So, having outlined what I think a game has to do to get a particular score, I suppose I should list a few notable games and what score I’d give (or have given) them so you can get a feel for what Robo-thumbs review scores mean.

One Star Games:
Ok, howsabout Iron Man? Not quite broken, but it’s hard to think of a more utterly pointless gaming experience, with the possible exception of that worthless DS game that asked for £20 to allow you to send trivia questions to another DS…which you could do with the stylus and send button for free.

Two Star Games:
Did you ever play Baroque? A great story concept and incredibly evocative character design, ruined by one simple conceit - dying and replaying was part of the game, and vital to unfolding the story. Add to that an annoying rogue-like tendency to re-create each level randomly so you couldn’t even speed through your repetition, coupled with an incessant grinding guitar soundtrack and a berk who kept yelling ‘Goddamn’ every third word…gah.

Three Star Games:
Now here it gets interesting, and potentially controversial. The rest of the internet seems to be giving Red Faction Guerrilla the four or five star treatment, but to me, it's simply a three star game. Great fun, no major flaws, but it just doesn’t quite grab me enough. Also in the three star category would be something like, say, Call of Duty 3. So, can you guess where call of Duty 4 and 5 would place?

Four Star Games:
That’s right, Call of Duty: World at War is a four star game; it’s just that little bit too absorbing to be played casually. Arguably, it’s even more visceral than CoD4, if not quite as polished or dramatic. Also in the four star camp I’d put something like Gun - I know a lot of people hated it, but for me, I just had to keep playing more and more. Metal Gear Solid, Resident Evil 4, and Fable II all belong here as well.

Five Star Games:
The biggies, these are the games that make you call in sick to work and stay up all night, the games that simply don’t let you consider the possibility of playing anything else. In here you’ll find the likes of Civilisation III, Fallout 3, Resident Evil 2, Call of Duty 4, Bioshock, Syndicate Wars and Championship Manager.

So, that’s an idea of where I’d place certain games. Now I suppose I’d better go and do some reviews. What’s next? Prototype? Fight Night? No…Indiana Jones and the Staff of Kings. Alas.